Mountains and Valleys: September 2013

When I decided to start a blog like this it was a very hard decision. Not only do I feel like I really am not “seasoned” enough to offer advice or guidance about life experiences, but it is also very hard to relive and put into words some of the hardest moments in my recent experience with the loss of my angel baby, Gabriel Michael (9/18/2011). I talked to a few people that said they waited years before they wrote about their journey through the loss of their own baby, but God keeps bringing this blog back to my mind and reminding me that there will be someone that might need this, the parts that I can write about, tomorrow or next week or next year. I am unsure about how much I will write. I do know that it may take years to actually put my entire journey into words, but if what I am dealing with today can help someone tomorrow I want to share it. This blog might seem like pages from a personal journal, and for good reason! I want to be as real and honest to my friends as possible. I want you to be able to read about the raw and painful moments that God can and will carry you through if you allow Him. I believe God can use this blog to help others because a year ago in August I read someones blog about her journey through the loss of her baby and God brought that blog back to the forefront of my mind while I was in labor with Gabriel. And a couple months ago I read a lady's blog about her current pregnancy and how the loss of her last baby taught her to cherish holding her baby in her womb because it might be the only time she gets to hold him. Their words were uncensored when it comes to trying to make me, the reader, feel more comfortable. They were honest and transparent when it came to their grief and reactions to their loss. If these words helped me I pray my words will help someone through their journey. I do not write this for people to see how strong I am, but to see how good God is! I don't want for people to feel sorry for me, but for people to read through the good, the bad, and the ugly and say “I hope if I am ever put in this situation I don't do that!” or “I hope that God is as real to me as He was to her!” Through all of my journey my biggest hope is that God's amazing grace will shine through to you as bright and magnificent as it was to me in my darkest hours!

Monday, September 16, 2013

I held you in my hand

*Photo is not a picture of my Gabriel, but a perfect example of his size as I held him in my hand*

I held you in my hand,

So tiny yet so perfect.

I felt my heart shatter,

All my hopes and dreams were gone.

I held you in my hand,

A little piece of heaven.

I felt my heart ache,

As Jesus took you home.

I held you in my hand,

So lifeless yet so living.

I felt my heart change,

Never to be the same.

He held me in His hand,

A comfort unexplained.

I felt my heart soothed,

I will see you yet again.

Please hold him in Your hand Lord,
Please tell him about his family,
that our hearts still ache to know him,
That we'll miss him 'til we're home.

Mountains and Valleys

My Family

Monday, September 16, 2013

I held you in my hand

Followers